Monday, May 20, 2013

And away we go

The herd as been dispersed as Hubby and I embark on another adventure!

Princess Kitty, who is back in our lives for a few months, is hanging out with our neighbour for the next 2 weeks. Last I saw her, she was running around the house, meowing uncontrollably as we did our last minute packing. I do believe it is because she misses the F-bomb, who was dropped off at puppy camp early Friday morning. I am sure that Fergus missed us for 2 minutes, but if Facebook can be trusted, he is now having the time of his life herding all of the dogs who are camping out for the May long weekend. I am sure that by now, he has forgotten who we are.  

No matter - because we are completely unplugged from our lives back home. The blackberry has been left behind, I have no idea who is leading who in any of the Stanley Cup playoff series, and I can barely remember my home phone number. I AM ON VACATION!!!!!

So what am I doing, you ask? Well, about six or so months ago, as I was reading through the blogs that I follow, I came across a rumour that Springsteen was gearing up for another leg of his Wrecking Ball tour, this time in Europe.

"Hubby!" I said.  "Springsteen is going to Europe!"

"Uh-huh," he said, barely glancing up at me from his community newspaper. 

"Let's go see him in Europe!" I said. 

"Uh-huh," he mumbled.

And so it was that a few days later, when the rumours were confirmed and the dates were announced, I found myself setting my alarm for 3:00 in the morning so that I could wake up and purchase tickets to see The Boss in Munich. 

(Incidentally, Hubby doesn't remember agreeing to this. I tell him that he should simply pay more attention to me, and less attention to his community. So there!)

But back to our story. 

Why Munich?  Quite simply, I've never been to Germany. And Springsteen announced 4 shows in Germany, but not in any other country.  And so I figure that he must really like Germans, and they must really like him. So I must really like Germans too. And frankly, how could they not like me. 

Whatever. I'm going to see Springsteen in Munich!!!!!

Along the way, we've built in a couple of other stops. London, Vienna, and, wait for it, Winnipeg. That's right kids, we're rounding out our trip with a stop in Winnipeg!  A cousin's wedding, my niece's 16th birthday, and of course, the hamam at Ten Spa. Sure to be the most relaxing bit of this trip...

I've never used this blog to chronicle my travels, but I figure why the hell not! Neat things happen to us when we hit the road - or the skies, as the case may be - so why not tell you all about it. And I thought I would begin with the top 10 reasons why Hubby and I are the world's worse travellers, who could never be on The Amazing Race. 

10 - I can't sleep on planes. I can drink a bottle of wine and take 6 gravol before hopping on an overnight flight, but I. Can. Not. Sleep. Not good when the only times you really have to grab some shut eye are when you are in the air. 

9 - When I do manage to catch a few zzzz's, I do so in the most dangerously unnatural position I can squeeze myself into in these miniature spaces that pass for airplane seats. Meanwhile, the coldest of cold, recycled, germ-infested airplane air blows down my neck, causing it to seize up and lock into place, and thus decreasing my mobility for at least a few days. 

8 - I can't leave the airport without getting a proper coffee. Which, by the way, is slightly difficult to sip on without spilling when your neck is jammed at a 45 degree angle. But can you blame me??? We just took the overnight flight, I've had a bottle of wine and 6 gravol, and I only got maybe 30 minutes of sleep! You bet your ass I need a coffee!

7 - Neither one of us has any bladder control. It doesn't matter if there is a million dollars on the line - when one of us has to go to the washroom, we have to go RIGHT. NOW. 

6 - But one of us - I won't say who - does not like to have to pay for the luxury of using a toilet. And so, rather than simply cough up 35 pence in Paddington Station, this person instead runs around from bathroom to bathroom, until after 10 minutes and 6 bathrooms, he/she realizes that all of them require 35 pence.

5 - All the while, the other of us follows in exasperation, screaming "Just pay the 35 pence so we can get the hell out of here!" But during this time, this other one doesn't think to use the washroom him/herself, and only realizes about ten minutes later, when the couple is about to enter the Underground station where there are no toilets, that he/she won't make it for an hour on the tube. So the couple has to reemerge to the surface with all of their luggage so that the other one can also visit the W.C.  And now they are down 70 pence, and at least 25 minutes behind schedule.

4 - Our suitcases are way too big. I mean really, could we be MORE North American? How are you supposed to carry two big suitcases up and down flights of stairs in the Underground, or weave through the London throngs? And another thing - why the hell aren't there more elevators and escalators in these damn Underground stations? Do they think no one uses he tube to get to and from the airport? None of this is helping my Hunchback of Notre Dame-seque stance, either!

3 - We are too trusting of others who give us directions. Bakerloo line to King's Cross, my ass! Sabotage! This little mix-up cost us at least 20 minutes as we had to double back and then get to the complete opposite end of the station to get onto the Hammersmith line. Which, may I remind you, is a pain in the ass to do when carrying everything you own in a large roller suitcase!

2 - I am too easily distracted by pretty shiny things displayed strategically in shop windows.  As evidenced by the 40£ dent in my wallet as a result of a lovely scarf display that I just had to take a closer look at. 

1 - Hubby is just too damn nice.  And when you want to get somewhere quickly, this is a damn problem. You shouldn't be opening doors for people and letting them go before you! You should have your elbows up and muscle your way through! And there is no time for conversations with people when on the train! That's how you miss your stop! Seriously - why can't he be just a little bit more like me: mean and aggressive!!

Okay, so we won't be winning any million dollar prizes. But I suppose we do have a lot of fun together, and that has to count for something. Plus, we are bound to have some good stories to share! So stay tuned!