The first of many letters of apology....

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Dear Local Cab Company;

Thank you for dispatching a taxi to my residence so quickly this morning. I truly appreciate how you go above and beyond in your efforts to get a girl to the airport at 5:45 a.m.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for the conduct of my dog this morning. I'm really not sure what got into him. One minute, he was lying on the floor nicely, letting me snuggle with him before leaving for a week. Even when my husband opened the door at the sound of the cab pulling up, he displayed only minor curiousity but no restlessness.

I regret to say that he tricked us - yet again - with his morning calm demeanor. I do believe that he does this so that we won't restrain him when the door opens, and so that he has the opportunity to sneak out of the house when I am struggling with a suitcase. You see, he loves being outside. He thinks that every single time the front door opens that he is obviously going for a bike ride or a jog.

As your driver will attest, that is exactly what happened this morning. He snuck out of the house as I was carrying a suitcase, and made a bee-line for the bikes. Unfortunately, as soon as the driver got out of the car, his insane barking began. I'm afraid this gave your driver quite a fright, as he jumped about 4 feet into the air and almost fell right back into the cab.

Please be assured that the Beast sounds like he is ready to take a chunk out of your leg, but he is just trying to sound really tough. You see, he is a herding dog, and so he believes that his job is to alert my husband and I, in as high a pitch as he can, to the presence of new herd members. Someone forgot to tell him that he doesn't start work until at least 7:00 a.m.

So I sincrely hope that you will not put our address on your blacklist and refuse to send cabs to us. To make up for the Beast's indiscretion, I can assure you that I spent the entire cab ride apologizing profusely for this display of unruly behaviour. The cab driver assured me with a smile and a laugh that he was fine and that there was no need to apologize further, but I gave him an insanely high tip anyway.

I also fully intend to continue to enlist the help and services of our dog trainer, and I will personally request that we bypass all other lessons and go straight to front door etiquette. You have my commitment to work very diligently with the Beast so that the next time a cab arrives, he will not give your driver a heart attack.

Sincerely,

The Beast's slightly embarassed owner

P.S. Each and every one of my neighbours will receive a similar letter. Please do not black-list their properties due to the close proximity to the Beast.